well, not lotus position - nor even half lotus. sitting like that for a long time hurts! it customary for japanese from a young age to sit cross legged, often in half lotus, but for a lanky american without such practice, such a feat is difficult at best.
why am i offering this exposition? because i just got to hiroshima after 2 days at a zen center in the small mountain town of Umahori, near Kyoto. the temple, hosen-ji, has operated as a zen temple for over 300 years. in the past 10 years, it has begun to operate as a zen meditation (zazen) training center. i tried it out.
i am sure i will more on this topic in the future - i have much to digest - but at present there isn't a huge amount i want to express. so let me begin with the easiest: descriptions, people and immediate thoughts.
the town of umahori is quite small and sits in a valley a few mountains over from kyoto. hosenji sits on a hillside facing west, with great views and even better sunsets. there is the main house - with a kitchen, lounge, dining room and temple room. then there are bathroom facilities and lodging. near the temple are farms that are run and tended for by the monks and students (every day is work for 3 hours - mine was watering and weeding the vegetable garden and raking leaves in the parking lot. there was also daily cleaning - mine was scrubbing the showers and toilets). the beds were bunk beds with futons that provided decent padding - though the rooms got rather hot at night (did i mention that japan is hot in the summer?). there is also a zen garden/pond behind the main house, filled with frogs and carp.
master roshi kokugon is a pleasant short, plump japanese man. he can get cross when you move during meditation, but otherwise, a charming man. i was the only american in the group - when i was there, there were 10 other students, 9 japanese (ages ranging from 10-40) and a tall belgian named Guan. Guan lives and works in japan (teaching english) and stays at hosenji to study a few months a year. Ban is a 27 year from hiroshima who is studying doctoral chemical physics. Somia is a 35 year old woman from outside tokyo - i don't know what she does, but she spoke excellent english and we talked for a long time about life in nyc and japan. she told me to read some books from Mishima (?), a japanese author in the 50s, apprently quite like by the gay community. for the most part, everybody talked in japanese, unless they were speaking to me (guan is fluent). when they did, occasionally guan or ban would offer me short translations. an interesting, sometimes frustrating, situation, but i get by. i am good at adapting and i have noticed that i am picking up more japanese all the time.
the day is wake up at 520am. then taichi for 20 min, followed by an hour of zazen. zazen is fucking hard! two sets of 30 minutes of sitting on a cushion, legs crossed, back straight, no moving. the idea is to remove all thoughts and focus on your breathing - in and out. i could do that at first, but after 10 minutes the pain starts (especially when i tried half lotus!). i got better as time went on, but man, not all peace and tranquility - rather, pain and perseverance. then breakfast, daily cleaning, and daily work. the middle of the day is free time, which i spent copying passages out of buddha's teachings (i will put some up here when i have my notebook around), and reading. after dinner, more zazen (1.5 hours), chanting, and lights out at 10.
breakfast and dinner are ritualized - you sit kneeling, butt on feet (ouch!) and there is a very precise ritual to setting your bowls out, passing food, cleaning the bowls. i rather liked parts of it, and the food was all vegetarian greatness, but again, the pain in my feet grew to be quite excruciating. that is the idea, they tell me.
anyway, i know i will come up with more reflections, but here are the things i have learned+
1. zen buddhism has no godhead. buddha is thanked repeatedly, but it is out of graciousness and respect, not worship (i love the respect element of japanese culture. it is very welcoming, humble and kind).
2. i have so many thoughts in my head. my first zazen i could not "turn off the tv." i had random thoughts, songs, pictures, etc. i almost looked forward to the pain to bring my focus to better precision. when i wasn't hurting, i got better at focusing on breath. i would count each one, and focus on my posture being straight so that the breath would go straight down. i began to envision in my mind that when i breathed in, an umbrella would open up, as if buoyed by winds, and on exhale, it would return.
3. i have bad posture. i spent so much focus at zazen and meals just keeping my back upright. compared to japanese at least, i have bad posture and low leg flexibiliity. i am not fidgity, like some of the youth there, but i had trouble not moving - both becuase i would need to shift to fight pain, or, to correct my posture. master kokugon did not like it when i moved - "please.a.stop.moving!" and since he said it in english, everyone knew who he was talking to.
4. zen buddhism may not be for me. i love much of what buddha teaches, but i am not interested in giving up intoxicants, worldly pleasures and late nights out. i can lead my own good life regardless. i also don't think i can maintain such forms of meditation. however, while it did not lead me to any state of higher consciousness, i see its benefit in focus and in clearing the mind. perhaps i shall continue practice - start working on flexibility now!
i am sure there is more to record, but for now, i'm spent. and hungry.
next post on the atomic bomb memorial in hiroshima.
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2 comments:
Aaron,
That sounds like an awesome experience you had. I have been meditating regularly for a touch over two years and can tell you that enlightenment doesn't come from a few days of sitting (nor from a few years)! For me, the point is to be here now, which is antithetical to much of what we do in the west. After a while of regular practice, you can start to grasp bits and pieces of that in your every day. Like when you're stoned, and time seems to stop as you focus on something? But without the disorienting feeling as time speeds back up afterwards.
Higher consciousness comes in fits and starts. Sometimes I grasp the unity of the universe so fully it aches, but it only lasts for a few seconds. I think I would blow a fuse if I spent my entire life like that.
I highly recommend getting into a meditation practice--if it's not zazen, then vipassana/mindfulness/taoist, whatever works for you. The rewards from sitting 30 min/day are invaluable. You also might want to check out Jack Kornfield, author, founder of Spirit Rock (in CA), and one of the original Jewbuhs. His stuff is really good, and might fit with your worldview.
Continue having a blast, cousin! Much love and talk soon.
-dc
thanks, david. zazen is not for everyone. i discovered that if mindfulness and focus are truly what i seek, then i am already having much "zen" time already. i find it hiking, staring out the windows on trains, playing guitar, walking my dog.
however, there is something to be said for the act of medidation itself - i just think i need to discover a calmer, more comfortable setting. it was not the activity itself that caused problems, it was the manner in which it was done. however, i did discover the time slowing aspect - which is something that could be very rewarding in that active day of a new york twenty something.
Guan said something interesting oto me, that Zen was the only religion that fit him. my response was, why did you need a religion at all? i am not seeking a philosphy or religion that best matches my worldview, but rather, ones that enforce it. zen philosphy certainly works. and i will take your advice on kornfield. likeminded people often have good things to say.
all the best.
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